me and my lady

I’m trying to stick this out, being here alone that is. It is really hard to not have someone you can just talk to or go to when you need a hug. It’s hard. But I am sticking through all of this for you. For our apartment. I hope things really do get easier but a huge part of me is assuming it isn’t going to for a really long time. I am glad you are finally happy. That really makes everything I’ve gone through worth it.  I just wanted you to be happy. Its great to see that you actually are. 

it actually scares me, the thought of you leaving and never needing me again. To be totally honest, although we are not together , I need you. I need you to be here and to help me with things I’m not ready to do on my own. it’s fucked up I know, to need someone so much that it kills you when you think of them leaving.
I’m sorry I don’t want you the way you want me, I wish I did becuase i want to. you are my bestfriend, even when I don’t deserve you.

I miss you. ):

<333

Baby, 

I want you to know that I really do trust you and always have. I do trust that you are going to be the girlfriend that you think you should be. And the girlfriend that I know is amazing and will give 100% of herself to me. I am sorry for all of the shit we have gone through with the past but any of the shit we have gone through does not even come close to the amazing times we have had. Some of the best times of my life are you with you. I promise you that no matter what if you are giving me one hundred percent I will forever try to make you the happiest girl in the world. Because that’s what you deserve and that is what I am good at doing. I need to apologize to you and myself for not sticking up for myself when I really should have. Because I was wrong. So wrong. I never want to argue with you about anything that has happened in the past. I want to move forward with you as my beautiful girfriend and my just as amazing bestfriend. <3 I love you with all of my heart. I would do anything for you. 

Dear gorgeous,

I am so happy being here and being back with you. My girlfriend. Yes, I will admit that it is hard, what we are both going through. Some times I do wish that I wasn’t head over heals in love with you because I never want to be a burden ya know? I just want to be with you and make you happy like I always have. I want to make you fall so in love with me again you wont even know how to breath. Being in love is possibly the most scary thing that I have ever had happen to me. It is frightening that you could be gone in a split second. But at the same time being in love with you is so thrilling. I wouldn’t want it any other way. I know that this distance has taken its toll on our relationship. But I would go to the ends of the Earth for you and do anything to keep you as my girlfriend. and my bestfriend. You are amazing at both of those. Even if you don’t think you are you really are. I just really love you a lot.